He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
