Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
