I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize