I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
