I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize