He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize