are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
