She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
