if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
