come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
