Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
