quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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