i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
please come you make the beer taste better
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize