i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
