I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
