i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize