Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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