Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
