Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My cat gives me a boner
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
