Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
