I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So much Jack, so little girl.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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