how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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