im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Enjoy the penises
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
