I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
