I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
