I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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