Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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