and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
