he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
