i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
