I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
