Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is Oprah even human
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
