Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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