Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
