what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
