All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
