how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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