you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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