Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
