stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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