'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
