If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Terrible idea I love it
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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