When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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