Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
