is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
