I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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