I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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