he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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