okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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