i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
