I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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