Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
