hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
