Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
