Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have feelings that need drinking.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
