so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
