Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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