Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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