ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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