oh god the rape fog is back!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize