This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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