Kiss
Puke
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
