So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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